The most bizarre stories from doctors about their patients

On doctors were asked to tell the funniest, strangest, and most stupid stories they have experienced while practicing. Here are some incredible stories from their reports. Some are really funny, but others really awful. They show how some people live their daily lives without having a clue about life.


“A woman came with her six-month-old baby for a routine checkup and had what looked like chocolate milk in the baby's bottle. I tried to explain to her politely why someone shouldn't give chocolate milk to a baby. But she interrupted me and said: “Oh don't worry, that's not chocolate milk, it's coffee. He just loves it.”

“I'm a pharmacist. One day a young woman came to pick up her NuvaRing. When she came back a month later to get a new one, she was wearing the ring as a bracelet around her wrist.”

“I'm a nurse. A couple weeks ago I had a fight with the son of a female patient, who believed that I was trying to “freeze his mother to death”. He pointed at the thermostat showing a temperature of 23 degrees Celsius (this is in the U.S.). I tried to explain to him that 23 degrees isn't cold at all, but he just kept pointing to the display and shouting, “You don't think 23 degrees is cold?! It's 23 FREAKING DEGREES IN HERE!” (23 degrees Fahrenheit is about -5 Celsius). He slowly started going crazy. I, the head nurse, the supervisor and the security deputy tried to explain to him the difference between Fahrenheit and Celsius, but eventually we had to throw him out. He was an educated man in his 30s, but had never heard of Celsius. And he actually believed that we had invented Celsius to conceal that we wanted to freeze his mother to death.”

“A patient came to get an STI test. She was very upset but insisted that she only had one partner. She said it didn't make a difference if he slept with others because he always uses a condom and carefully washes it out after every use.”

“I'm a vet. I once had to explain to a distraught woman, that the ticks she had so frantically tried to remove from her dog with tweezers were actually his nipples.

“One woman had to have a foot amputated and was supposed to sign the forms for it before. She didn't seem to be worried so much about it. When I asked, why she wasn't, she said that she knew that they had to take her foot off, but it was okay because it would grow back soon.”

“I had a female patient that we prescribed estrogen patches, with the instructions to apply a new one daily. At the next checkup she said she didn't like the patches because she was running out of space for them. She actually had the things all over her body, instead of changing them every day.”

“My best friend's mother is a nurse in a hospital in an area with a lot of gang crime. She's had to explain more than once to the family of the deceased that you can't get a brain transplant after getting shot in the head.”

“I'm a nurse. One day I was sitting in the nurses' lounge as the warning signal from a patient monitor started sounding. I hurried to the room, thinking the worst. And what do I see? His relative was in the process of putting the patient's electrodes on his own back. He said: “My back is killing me, pinched nerve or something. I just wanted to borrow these electroshock pads for a couple minutes.”

“Had one woman who measured her baby's temperature by preheating the oven and sticking her hand inside while holding the other on the baby's forehead. She told me the baby had a fever of about 120 degrees Celsius.”

“As a pediatric nurse, I've had to explain to several parents that they shouldn't give their children Dr. Pepper in their feeding bottle.”

“I had one 16-year-old that thought she was pregnant, but had no idea where her vagina was. As we told her that was the correct name for her genitals she said: “I thought that was here” — and pointed to her belly button. Turns out her boyfriend had regularly sexed up her belly button as well as through the backdoor. She thought she got pregnant this way.”

“I'm a pharmacologist. One day a lady was complaining that our medicine for her cat hair allergy wasn't working. Turns out she had taken the spray, which is for inhaling, and sprayed it on her cat.”

Well, should I laugh or cry? Share with your friends and discuss!   


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