Mother falls in love with her anonymous sperm donor
For Aminah Hart, things hadn’t worked out the way she’d hoped. At 42, this Australian with West Indian origins took stock of her life and one aspect wasn’t how she wanted it to be: she was single with no children.
She remembered the painful hardships she’d already been through, but she wasn’t finished yet.
Aminah had already lost two children. The first one, Marlon, was only four months old when he died. The couple's relationship didn’t survive this tragedy and Aminah was soon divorced. The second child, Louis, only reached the age of 14 months. Once more, the pain was too difficult for the couple to deal with and again Aminah found herself single.
“You can’t really put it into words. …I had two relationships and two children but it wasn’t until the second one that I got a diagnosis of the genetic disorder,” recalls Aminah.
This rare condition, x-linked myotubular myopathy, turned Aminah’s desire to have children into a real nightmare. If she were to get pregnant again, there was a 25% probability that the baby would be diagnosed with the disease that had taken Marlon and Louis. Was she really strong enough to go through that a third time?
“It took me a long time to make the decision and I considered everything: my age, social status, and that I carried a fatal genetic disorder… I had the understanding that I wasn’t a great prospect.” But her desire to become a mom was stronger than anything. She decided to find a sperm donor. As she checked the list of donors, she didn’t know what they looked like or where they lived. She just saw their medical records.
In 2011, she made a choice, picked her stranger, and soon Aminah gave birth to her daughter Leila. When she found out that her daughter was perfectly healthy, she couldn’t hold back the tears. Her dream had finally become reality.
Aminah was living a happy life with her daughter now. So when her mother Helen encouraged her to seek out and meet Leila’s biological father, Aminah hesitated. Her mom was determined so she did some sleuthing and tracked down the donor, Scott Andersen. After a while Aminah let herself be persuaded and, once he'd agreed to be contacted, sent him an email gratefully sharing a picture of her child. Thanks to him, she was a fulfilled mother!
Amazingly, Scott answered enthusiastically and for six months the two corresponded regularly. Then they made a decision that would turn their lives upside down.
They were going to meet in person.
But when Aminah saw Scott for the first time, she was shocked. There he was; he had Leila’s blond hair and blue eyes. It was love at first sight for Scott and his biological daughter. And not only for them…
Aminah and Scott got along incredibly well. They started meeting regularly and their relationship evolved: “We fell in love. It was surreal but an incredible experience,” Aminah said.
Now they’re actually married! The nightmare Aminah went through for years gave way to something she’d always wished for. In under three years she went from being single without kids to being a married mother.
Watch them tell their story in this charming interview:
Aminah’s victory over adversity and tragedy is simply beautiful. She tells it in her owns words in her book, “How I met your father”. She hasn't forgotten her painful past or the death of her two sons, but today she has a chance to move forward and build the family she always dreamed of.
Who would have expected it — an anonymous stranger turns out to be her one true love. Life is truly full of surprises!